Things went very, very wrong.

Sorry fellas and fellettes, for my prolong-legged absence (and please egg-scuse my zoological zaniness)... Things have been TOUGH. I almost don't want to talk about it. Remember when I told you about slipping on vomit? (duh just scroll down). Well they sent me home to change clothes (can't very well flip burgers with vomit dripping down your leg, and can't very well do those beef acrobatics naked: MacDonald's is a hamburger place, not a weiner joint after all.) So my drive all the way home... my drive all the way back. One and a half hours, and those snake bastards REFUSED to comp my pay for something which was entirely out of my control, and very well inside of their control. Long story short, I quit. Short story long: that night I got wasted on a couple of forties and took turns dancing in the darkness and sitting on my can. But what can you do? It wasn't ME who poisoned the watering hole: it was their cutthroat faux burgers and the uattuned digestive systems of that long necked little kid.

So scramble I did, and scrambled I am: or at least some kind of egg. Back to Dunkin Donuts and their frozen egg patties... and their frozen donuts (half baked, flash frozen, and pumped by preservatives, from our freezer to your fat ass.).. You can see I'm a bit ornery tonight. What do you expect? I was hoping to get this blog off on the right foot. Some Kevin Smith wayward man-child nonsense. Instead it's this. Church of Cheesus Crackers and Stinking Liver Shmears.

I thought I had moved on from that point in my life. I thought I'd graduated from half-fast food to full fledged fast food. The backbone of our nation. A company to be proud of. Opportunity and advancement... Then again I should have known better. I graduated college after all. What kind of advancement could a company whose flagship product is gastral discharge possibly provide to the prole who makes it all possible?.. I guess we're all responsible for something.

So there you go! Want to hear about Tanya and her boyfriend problems? Or maybe Joe's car troubles? (philosophically speaking, it's not a car if it doesn't work.) Or how about the lesbians? Damn, its hard enough  to cover some insanewad's gamut of office coffees right (one medium with 2 creams and four sugars, one medium with 3 creams and 2 sugars, 2 larges: 2/3 and 3/4), and then you factor our lives into the mix. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. Gah.